Season of Positivity

I find myself, at present, in a miasma of negativity.  As I've written about previously in this blog, in 2015, I had several health issues.  Hospital stays, procedures, major back surgery, doctor visit after doctor visit, etc., etc.  For the first time in my life, I actually met the out of pocket maximum on my insurance (by July!), the latter part of the year my doctor visits, prescriptions, etc., etc. were paid at 100%.

How Old Do I Look?

How old do I look?  No, wait, don't answer that,  I may not hear what I want to hear, and today I am not in the right frame of mind to hear what I don't want to hear. ;)

Why Have Faith When Bad Things Keep Happening?

If you know me, or maybe if you have been reading my posts, you undoubtedly know that I have had several medical problems this year. [I tend to whine and overshare sometimes]

Look Ahead with Hope

Many times I bog myself down with current worries,  or with the baggage of the past- so much so that I forget what lies ahead because I can't see it.  My brain gets caught up in the concrete of what I, as a human can see.

Thank you, God, that there is more to life than what I Spy with My Little Eye...

Ahead there is newness.  A day, yet to be encountered, always holds hope.  No matter what I am feeling now, or what has passed, there is hope in front of me.  There is light, even when I don't believe it.

Such simple, yet beautiful promise the future has yet to unveil.  The future's potential is wrapped up in one four letter word.

HOPE.

~Psalm 40:11-12
New Living Translation (NLT)
Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me.
Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.
For troubles surround me—
too many to count!
My sins pile up so high
I can’t see my way out.
They outnumber the hairs on my head.
I have lost all courage.

My Hope is Built On Nothing Less

The subject of hope is one that is very interesting to me. Having battled depression in my life I have gone through stages of hopelessness. It is probably the lowest point to which a person can sink emotionally. I credit God's grace in bringing me through those darkest moments. I thank God that I was able to not dwell too long in that place where fear takes over and hope dies. I pray I will never experience that kind of fear again, but if I do, I know I will not be alone; my God will follow me there and hold my hand, all the while lifting me out of the despair.

I look at my life as sort of a metaphor for our country. I trusted God with all things when I was a young child. I freely gave him my heart and trusted him to provide me with everything I needed. Then as I became older, I started taking things back from him, until one day, I pretty much had it all back in my hands. I no longer trusted my God to feed and clothe me. I was an independent woman, I made my own decisions and I certainly wasn't looking out for anyone else; it was all I could do just to take care of myself. I struggled with paying my bills, I borrowed money I couldn't pay back and I hoped against hope that nothing catastrophic happened to the flimsy structure of a life I had built.

This is the point we are at right now as a nation of believers. Although, I realize that not everyone in our nation is of the Christian faith, I believe that we as Christians still have an obligation to follow our faith and obey our God or else we will never prosper; not really. Now, this does not mean we need to cram our faith down the throats of others. This means we have to accept personal responsibility in where we place our trust.

I wonder if other Christians understand that there is no hopelessness in Christ Jesus? I have heard so much discouragement and fear about the future from my Christian friends. It really saddens my heart that they do not understand the simple principle of Gods abundant grace; his all encompassing love and compassion for people - all people. If it was fully understood, then I would not be seeing the gloom and pessimism that is infecting the hearts of those who are supposed to be ever hopeful; thankful in advance of God's blessings that are sure to come our way.

In 1 Timothy 6, Paul instructs Timothy not to put his hope in uncertain things like wealth and things of this world. Instead, he should look towards God who blesses us with everything we could ever want. I think that we have missed the mark on this lesson. I think that over the years we have become complacent in our fat American lives and have put our hope in the government of the United States. We wonder now why the country is in financial crisis and we are fearful that it will get worse. You know what? That is exactly what Satan wants us to believe. He wants us to lose hope, to turn on each other and argue about who got us into this mess and how we can get out of it.

How sad is it that we are allowing the liar of all liars to win? We are playing right into his hands with our fear and our idle chatter. We need to stop. Our job as believers in Christ is to put our hope and faith in nothing but Jesus; to have faith in anything less is to secure our failure. We cannot expect a person, a government, a nation or anything else to bring us from the darkness that we are in and into the light of prosperity. God asks for our full allegiance to him; as Christians we need to honor that. We have to stand firm in our hope that God will never abandon us.

The Solid Rock

1. My hope is built on nothing less
   Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
   I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
   But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
   • Refrain:
     On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
     All other ground is sinking sand,
     All other ground is sinking sand.
2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
   I rest on His unchanging grace;
   In every high and stormy gale,
   My anchor holds within the veil.
3. His oath, His covenant, His blood
   Support me in the whelming flood;
   When all around my soul gives way,
   He then is all my hope and stay.
4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
   Oh, may I then in Him be found;
   Dressed in His righteousness alone,
   Faultless to stand before the throne.

Edward Mote, c.1834 Copyright: Public Domain

1 Timothy 6:17-19 (New International Version)

17Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

When You Least Expect It

A funny thing happened to me at the orthopaedic surgeon's office today. Well, not really hilariously funny, but funny as in unexpected. I was waiting, as is often the case at the doctor's office, while I listened to my MP3 player. I was flipping through my songs and stopped on a song called While I'm Waiting by John Waller. This is a song I have heard many times before, after all it is on my MP3 player, so I know the song. Yet, today the song spoke to me as it never had before. I listened more carefully to the words and I really felt as though God was speaking to me through that song.

"I am waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful"*, the song says, "I am waiting on you, though it is painful"*. The words struck me right between the eyes. It goes on to say "While, I am waiting, I will serve you. I will worship while I'm waiting."* Wow. Did the songwriter write this song just for me? No. I know he didn't, but God is using it to help me understand things, just as if it were written just for me.

I felt very close to God at that moment and I was certain that my choosing that song to listen to right then was no coincidence. I needed to be open to what God was saying to me. So I closed my eyes and offered myself up to my Lord's instruction. Let me tell you what he revealed to me.

You see, the last few weeks I have been frustratingly stalled in proceeding with my life after surgery. I have felt God stirring me, but had no clear direction. Surely, I wasn't listening and praying hard enough or I would be getting the message, I thought. Then, it dawned on me --I was rushing God again.

If there is one thing God can't be, it is rushed. His timing will happen as he sees fit. No amount of begging and cajoling from me can hurry God's will. In the mean time I am called to -- you guessed it -- wait. While I am waiting I cannot be stagnant; I have to use that time to worship and to serve. This is what God has been trying to tell me.

He does have plans for me. He may not necessarily divulge the whole plan to me at once. That really is a load off of my mind. I was really struggling because I felt I should know what I'm doing. Turns out God has it all under control. I am to take each step in obedience, as I move ahead, bold and confident*. All I need to do for now is wait and worship and serve.

Psalm 27:13-14 (New International Version)

13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Romans 8:24-25 (New International Version)

24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

*All of these were taken from John Waller's song "I Am Waiting". This is not the first time one of his songs has spoken to me. I have referred to his music in my blog before. I hope that he is pleased that his songs resonate so loudly and that I have used his work in a way that would gladden him.

Trying not to lose hope.

Hope is expectant and confident for better things in the future. People who are depressed often feel hopeless -- like there is nothing better down the road; they will always feel low. I think that is probably the worst feeling in the world.

A lot of negativity has been going on in my life recently. It would be easy to slip into a pit of despair. Summer should be a time of relaxation and renewal, but it doesn't seem to be working out that way this year. Unfortunately life does not always give me what I want. There is good and bad in the world. I can't have one without the other.

I have grown weary from frustration that I can't fit everything into a neat little box. I don't understand what motivates people to make the choices that they make. It seems so simple that it is perplexing to me that people find themselves in awkward positions. Could they not foresee the result of that action? Have they not learned the meaning of cause and effect yet? Alas it is not so simple. I have not walked a mile in their shoes, as they have not walked a mile in mine. I have not always made the right decisions either. I can't forget that, lest I start to take inventory of their wrongs.

Life is full of turning points -- standing at the crossroads which choice do I make? There is always a point at which I can turn back and not feel the regret of a wrong path taken. It is at these moments that we find out what we are made of -- what we put our hope in. I can't make a wrong decision and hope for the best. That would be foolhardy. I have to hope for the best first and then my decisions will follow suit.

In my case, being that I am a Christian, I place my hope firmly at the foot of the cross of Jesus. He did not suffer and bleed and die for me so that I could throw caution to the wind and live my life willy-nilly. I am asked to make the hard choices sometimes. I am asked to turn from myself and carry my cross along with the one whom I serve. This means I will have to deny myself things that take my eyes off of my God. It is the action that separates me from my God, not the temptation. It is said that nothing can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, but that is not exactly true -- my own choices can alienate me from God's love.

The choices that I have seen made by some friends still bewilder me. I would hope that I would not make those same choices. I really want to put my God and my family before myself. I can't let my fear stand in the way of the victorious life my God has planned for me.

It is my belief that it is fear that is the common denominator behind wrong decisions. Fear of abandonment, fear of not measuring up, fear of failure -- these are just a few of the fears that motivate bad decisions. I have to put these fears behind me. When I trust in something bigger than myself, it is easier not to be afraid. Fear can't grow inside of hope; there is nothing for it to take root in. So, it stands to reason that if my hope and trust are fixed on things besides myself, I will not have fear. It is still not always easy and perfection is impossible, but it gives me something to reach for.

Romans 5:1-5

1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Psalm 27:1-4

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—

of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me

to devour my flesh,

when my enemies and my foes attack me,

they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me,

my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me,

even then will I be confident.

4 One thing I ask of the Lord,

this is what I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to seek him in his templ