150 Day Challenge

I love a challenge. I am pretty non-competitive though, so I don't like a competitive, see who is better at ___ kind of challenge, I do, however, love a challenge that involves personal growth. So, when my Pastor challenged the congregation to read a Psalm a day for the next 150 days I thought - that would be a wonderfully edifying thing to do. I took the challenge. I have probably read every Psalm in the bible at one time or another, but have never read them in order and have never written about what I learned from my readings before. I decided that would be the perfect addition to his challenge. So, here I am. I read Psalm 1 today.

I read the chapter in the NIV, which is my default translation. Throughout these readings I will be looking the scriptures up in different translations to help me to better understand the words and the meaning of the scripture.

Psalm 1

I want to be a woman who delights, finds her joy and is content in the laws of her Lord. This scripture illustrates that I will be blessed when I do that, but with the distractions of life, it is hard to meditate on His word day and night. I get busy with chores and kids and life that I forget to stop and thank the Lord for life itself.

This is why in my life scripture memorization is so important. I may not always remember where the scripture is located, or yet remember all the words in the right order, but knowing a line or two from a favorite, comforting scripture can help in moments of crisis thought out the day. The trick is remembering to recall those words to mind instead of allowing the stress to overwhelm me. One of my favorites is John 16:33, I tell you these things so that you may have peaces. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I (Jesus) have overcome the world. Repeating this verse aids me in redirecting my mind to the peace I find in Jesus.

It is also essential that I not allow those who are detractors to interfere with my worship. These detractors can come from all over the place. Anyone, whether godly or not can interfere with my relationship with God. It is up to me to keep my focus no matter who is around me. As Christians, we all know that Satan is very cunning and can use seemingly good people to distract us. That is why we have to be so careful whose counsel we take. I test things with scripture and see how it adds up. If the counsel I have received doesn't gel properly with the word of God, then perhaps I should not take that advice. Admittedly this is hard to do. It takes a lot of discernment and sometimes it means going against the flow, but it has to be done.

I love the simile in this passage. How wonderful to be like a tree (me) planted by the water (God) and as the tree draws nourishment from the water it grows and becomes strong enough to hold fruit. If the tree were to try to grow fruit before it was mature, the branches would be too flimsy to hold up the fruit. The whole tree would sag and break under its own weight. The tree has to wait until just the right time, and when it is ready, it starts to blossom and then those blossoms become beautiful, rich fruit that can nourish others and perhaps the seeds can be replanted and a new tree will start from there.

Such is my life. I have to be in tuned with God, draw on his wisdom and power until the right time, then I am able to produce the fruit I am called to produce. It is my God who has already decided what kind of fruit I will produce. If I try to change that which God has already set in place, I will surely fail. I need to wait 'til the right time too, so that I am ready. That is the hard part. Often I want to barrel in and do my own thing - tell everyone I know about God and what he has done for me, and about the truth I find in him. God has different ideas, however. He know when it is time to reveal himself through me. Not only that, he always knows a better way to do it than I could ever do on my own. So, I wait.

I find comfort in knowing that my God is watching over me - that he knows my most anxious thoughts, but still he loves me, strengthens me and best of all, uses me.

© KDV 2009

Why I Believe the Religious Right is Wrong

Oh, boy, here we go again. I know that is what some of my fellow Christians think when they see my blog/journal posts. I truly mean no disrespect. I just call it as I see it. I write about the truth as it is revealed to me. I do not think that I am the only true Christian in the world. Nor do I think that I know any secrets about God or claim to know the full mind of God (not even close). I am humbly aware that any wisdom that I have is only the tiniest tip end of the iceberg of God.

That being said, when I see my fellow Christians doing the opposite of what the bible teaches us to do, which is to be salt and light in the world (Matthew 5:13) and to preach the good news (Mark 16:15), I feel called to speak up. Those who believe that they are the God's Chosen, are not only repelling non-Christians, but also turning Christians against their own religion with their zealous behavior. In my heart I cannot believe that this is what God wants from his children.

In Colossian 2 Paul warns about this very phenomenon I see happening today. He warns the people there about Heretics and Gnostics. These were people who were preaching that they knew the real truths about Christianity. They were the Fundamentalists and the Religious Right of their day. They felt they had cornered the market on exactly what God meant to say in the biblical texts. Anyone who did not follow them were surely destined to an eternity separated from God.

Paul tells the people there that they should not be deceived by this. There is only one Truth about Christianity and it is no secret - Christ. That is it. Plain. Simple. Pure.

In verse 16 and 17, he says Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. That sounds pretty clear to me. Our reality is found it Christ - not in the deeds, the laws and the judgment of others that is sure to find them wanting.

People are turned off by Christians who think they know it all (ie - know the mind of God). Some have said that it matters not what people think, we must tell the truth, since the bible says those outside the faith won't like us anyway. I think this is a total cop-out and justification for sanctimonious behavior. When Jesus said that those who are persecuted because of him are blessed (Matthew 5:10-11), he was not giving his followers immunity to act as accusatory judges of all humankind in his name.

We should care when people are turned off by our brand of Christianity. If what we are doing is turning people away from the words of God and from faith in him, then we need to examine our approach. It just makes common sense. No one wants to listen to the harassment and condemnation of a group of people who feel superior to those around them. That is why Jesus spoke so strongly to the Pharisees and Paul warned the people in Colossae against this kind of behavior.

So what makes us, in the year 2009, think that we know so much? Why do the Religious Right feel that they are so...right about everything? God cannot be neatly contained into a human brain sized package. Isaiah 5:9 is pretty clear that God's ways and thoughts are so far above ours that we will never even hope to know all there is to know about him.

This is what provokes me to irritation about fundamentalists and the Religious Right. It is not their beliefs themselves that I feel are wrong. The surely have a right to believe as literally and as fundamentally as they wish to about any biblical interpretations. I take no issue with that. It is the insistence that there is only one right way to interpret the bible that I have a problem with.

I don't believe anyone has a right to dictate to another what to believe. Every word of the bible is there for each of us to read. When we accept Jesus we are each given the gift of the Holy Spirit. That Spirit resides in us and is there as our conscience and our guide. The Spirit helps us by interceding on our behalf when we don't know what to do (Romans 5:26-27). It is not our jobs as Christians to assess the heart and/or salvation of anyone other than ourselves.

Standing up for what you believe in? Sure. Condemning others because they don't share your beliefs? Not so much.

©KDV2009

Uncompromising Christianity

There are a lot of things that I am. Wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, but the most important thing that I am is Christian. I am an uncompromising Christian. I think that sometimes there may be some doubt about my faith from fellow Christians, because I have a number of (very good) friends who are not Christian. This may leave people with the impression that I am wishy-washy or lukewarm in my faith. I am not.

Those who are close to me know this. Be they Christian or not, they understand that I believe in God as Sovereign and Jesus as my Savior. I never hedge in that assertion. Friends who are not Christian (I believe) respect my faith, as I respect theirs. I do not try to change their minds or argue my points with them. That doesn't mean I am lukewarm or compromising my beliefs. It just means that I respect that they believe differently than I.

I am not sure why my faith is questioned by my fellow Christians, nor do I know why I feel the need to explain or defend myself. My God knows my heart and he knows that it seeks after him. Yes, I falter in my deeds sometimes, as everyone does, but my faith has never wavered.

As much as I believe in God, I also believe in Satan and the powers of evil that he represents. Anything that is growing in God, he seeks to destroy it. We don't need to be destroyed by Satan's attacks though. 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 tells us that even though we are pressed in on all sides we are not broken because we know Jesus.

When this evil surrounds me, when people are questioning my motive and my faith I do as I the early Christians did in Acts 19:13 and command these seeds of doubt, anxiety, etc. to leave in Jesus name. This is the most powerful weapon I have against the enemy.

In Romans 16:17-20 I am told to not pay attention to those who try to cause division and put obstacles in the way because that is what Satan wants. He wants his followers to be divided by dogma and smooth talk. It is easier for him to conquer once he divides. I refuse to play into his hands let alone be his hands in his war against my God.

I am not of divided mind as some think. My mind is stayed on God. This does not prevent me from being close to and/or friendly with non-Christians. For some it would be too much of a distraction, I grant you that. If it is for another Christian, then by all means, they should avoid it. It has never caused me to compromise.

Like I said, I am not sure why I feel the need to explain this, but I think it is because I do not want there to be a division. I want my fellow Christians to understand that God is so complex that none of us even understand 1% of what there is to know about him. So, for anyone to try to assess another Christian's heart based on some sort of religious dogma is ludicrous and is only going to cause division.

I will not allow Satan and his minions to have that kind of control. The only way to stop him from his onslaught is to command him to leave in Jesus name. I believe that with all my heart.

Once we command him to leave we must bolster our own resolve to stay strong by putting on God's armor. Not so that we can use the word of God as a weapon against each other. We should not use it to wound or destroy each other; that is what causes the division in the first place. It is to be used as a defense against Satan.

I urge every uncompromising Christian to stand together with me as we fight against the devil. He is our enemy - not each other. It doesn't matter about the minutiae of scriptural interpretation, we are all one in Jesus.

© KDV 2009

Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version)

¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Big Fat Fakers

I have always disliked fakers. Most people do, unfortunately, not everyone even recognizes that they are one. Sometimes it seems natural to act a different way when they are with certain people. They may have a character for friends from PTA. A different on for church friends. And still another for their families. Some may not even realize they are doing this. Some go to great lengths to keep their groups of friends separated so that they can continue the act.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I entered into the World Wide Web and its social networks that I realized that fake could be taken to a whole new level. Now, I am no spring chicken, so I have seen my share of people - people who have a show face and a home face. I thought I had seen it all, but nothing prepared me for what I would encounter on the Internet.

It never occurred to me that people would go to such great lengths to hide who they really are. It must be exhausting. If someone is going to expend that much energy to keep up a charade, why not just try to change who they are? Then they wouldn't have to fake it all the time.

A lot of the time I can spot a fake upon my first virtual encounter with them. I have a natural ability to 'feel' these kinds of things. I will often stumble upon someone in a random post and follow the link back to their profile on a social network and my first impression of them is usually accurate. I just get a vibe off of them. That is not to say I am always right or that I have some sort of superiority complex, thinking I can 'read' everyone I run across. It just happens to be one of my abilities.

When at first I get a negative perception of someone, I usually try to ignore it because I want to give people the benefit of a doubt. I push the she's a fake vibes out of my mind and try to think positive. Unfortunately more often than not, I am proved right. It saddens me, but that is the way it usually happens.

People like to put up a false reality about themselves on social. I suppose it makes them feel better to act as though their life is as picture perfect as they wish it were. Then there are those who are so desperate for attention that they create false drama around themselves in order to garner sympathy from others. Either way, it is extremely disheartening to see so much of it going on.

Like I said earlier, it takes a bundle of energy to keep up that kind of facade; energy that would be better put to more positive pursuits. You know, like making your life better, or perhaps spending some time with those less fortunate than yourself. That can put things into perspective right away.

Some people never will look outside themselves, however. They are content to spend your time ducking, weaving and deflecting the attempts of others to get to know the real person inside the persona. What are they so afraid of? They spend their lives only half engaged in reality; missing out on so much of the goodness.

The goodness comes when we open ourselves up and are vulnerable to others. In order to fully engage and enjoy life we have to take those chances. Sometimes we get hurt, but so much more often we find that we aren't so different than everyone else and sharing the pain of our trials helps us all to heal our wounds.

If everyone would do this, then there would be no need for fakes. We all have suffering, fears, foibles and idiosyncrasies. We all screw up sometimes. We do things we aren't proud of. We say things we wish we could take back. Every one of us is fallible. Yes, I believe there are enemies around us that seek to destroy us, but the worst enemy of all lurks deep inside our own souls. It is called pride. It is that pride that keeps us from living the life that we wish we had - the life that we should have. The life that we can have.

© KDV 2009

Proverbs 29:23 (New International Version)

²³ A man's pride brings him low,
but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Proverbs 21:24 (New International Version)

²⁴ The proud and arrogant man-"Mocker" is his name;
he behaves with overweening pride.

1 John 4:18 (New International Version)

¹⁸There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

John 16:33 (New International Version)

³³"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Wow! Is this how normal people feel?

I was driving home today from physical therapy and I was overcome with a sense of well being, both mentally and physically. It has been a long time since I have felt like that.

When you are not well, you don't realize how much of your body's energy and reserves are going toward the illness. Even if the illness itself doesn't cause severe fatigue, the effects of it often zap a lot of your energy. It is possible to still live a full life and get things accomplished while dealing with chronic pain, but it takes more of a toll on your body and your psyche than you realize until after the crisis is over.

This is what happened to me. All those years I lived with hip/back/shoulder/neck pain from my osteonecrosis, I simply pushed through the pain. I was determined I was not going to let it keep me from volunteering at the kids' schools, going on field trips, family vacation, and just doing normal everyday activities of a mom. I did all those things. I even excelled at some.

It wasn't until I had this last hip replacement surgery that I even contemplated slowing down. Before the surgery I was determined to be back at normal activities within six weeks, three months at the latest. After all, people were counting on me and I had a lot to do. It was only after the surgery that I realized how really stressed I was, not just in spirit but physically. My body was just stressed to the max. My heart told me to go back to work as usual, but my body said 'I won't allow it'. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, right?

This was very frustrating to me, because my normal tendency is to press on through the pain, but this times, somehow I just couldn't. It was a new experience for me to just listen to my body and actually respond to its messages to take it easy (oh, the guilt, the guilt). It wasn't until four months after surgery that I even had the energy to contemplate rehabbing my new joint.

I started physical therapy in March and it has been fantastic. I am glad I waited because I don't think I would have gotten the results that I have achieved if I had pushed myself into it sooner. Next week is my last week and I feel I have accomplished my goals.

I feel better now, and stronger than I have since...well, I don't ever remember feeling this good in my adult life. I spent my 20s as a body image obsessed anorexic. My 30s was consumed with childbirth and chronic pain from illness and over work. So, now, almost midway through my 40s I am finally feeling like a normal person.

I feel like doing things. Heck, I am even looking forward to summer with my kids. That is something that I normally would dread because it took too much energy to entertain them. But now, I feel equal to the challenge for the first time ever.

Check back with me in mid-July and ask me if I still have the same enthusiasm.