Friday, April 21, 2017

RIP Daddy (August 2, 1934 - October 21, 2016)

Six months ago today, on October 21, 2016, the lights went out on the first love of my life-- my sweet Daddy.  Though he is gone from this world, I continue to feel his presence in my life.  I don't think that will ever fade.

Oh, I'll probably think about him less and less as time goes on.  I may not continue to dream about him on an almost nightly basis, but he will always be with me:

He is in the smile, and wry sense of humor of my 19 year old son.  He's represented in the hard, dedicated work I see my 20 year old perform on a daily basis.  The twinkle in his eye can be found in my daughter's eyes.  His name lives on through my youngest son, as does his contemplative nature.

I thank my God every time I see these things in them and remember that Coleman Due was just a man, here for a short 82 years, but his legacy lives on.

I also have his creations displayed prominently around my home.  He was an artist when it came to building furniture.  I believe he knew he had some talent, for sure, but I don't think the humble man from Apple Springs, Texas realized the magnitude of the gift he left behind in his woodwork.

In many ways, my daddy was a mystery to me.  He held many of the hands dealt in his life close to his vest, and likely took a lot of information about his young adult life to his grave.  That's okay.  It was his life. We all have one chance to live our lives the way we choose, and he chose his way.  He chose what to tell and what to hold back.  I do not begrudge him that prerogative. I do, however, wish I would have known more about his past.

As I say that - I wish I had known more about his past-  I, at the same time realize it would have made little difference in the way that I loved him, nor in the way I remember him now.  I know a simple truth-- he loved me, and I him. In the end, that really is the most we can hope for in any relationship. Reciprocal love.

I believe I will see him again someday. In a different realm, where his light still shines.  That will be a glorious time.  Perhaps I will learn all about him then?  Or perhaps I will just sit on his lap again and reach up and grab his face between my hands and say - I love you Daddy. And the rest will fade to gray.