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I have written here before about my love for words and my passion for writing. Not very many days have gone by in the past 40 years of my life that I have not written something. Some days it will only be a quick note dashed off to a child’s teacher; time constraints and life often get in the way of any real writing that I may have on my mind. That doesn’t usually stop my mind from writing, though. My mind is almost constantly in a state of thought, as I compose little snippets of this and that inside my head. It really wasn’t until adulthood that I realized that not everyone had these compositions swirling around in their heads all the time. I had no idea.
I certainly never thought of it as a gift. I thought of them as daydreaming; nothing more. Other people in my family were the gifted ones. My artist sister, my brother the musician, my father who builds beautiful furniture and my creative mother; those were the talented people. Everyone could actually see and hear their offerings - their art. I was just the kid who made up stories, read and lived inside her own head; nothing special there. Or so I was led to believe. I guess if you have no tangible offering at the end of the day it is not really worth much by the world‘s standards. Certainly, no one ever encouraged me to pursue my writing.
Funny thing happened a few years ago. I discovered the internet. I admit that I was forced - kicking and resisting into the World Wide Web. I had to learn how to send and receive e-mails or I was going to be left out of the loop in some of my circles. Anyone who knows me knows that being left out of the loop is a fate worse than death in my book, so I reluctantly learned how to use the internet. Once I opened the Pandora’s Box that is the internet, I discovered a whole new world. A world where I could write down those bits of composition from my head and with the touch of a button other people could read it. At lasts a tangible result of my ponderous, daydreaming mind. It was a beautiful thing. I began, slowly, to put myself (my work) out there and I was encouraged by the positive feedback I began to encounter. Bolstered by that positivism I began to venture out a little more. It is one thing for nameless, faceless people on the internet to read my work, but it is another thing all together for those who are close to me to read and analyze the things I write. I was finally able to bring myself to ask my family to read what I wrote, but it took some courage.
Here is something that some of you may not understand about writing. When a writer writes and puts her words out for the public to read, it is the same as a painter hanging her art on the wall of an art gallery. It is a piece of the artist. Her heart, her offering to the world, a sliver of her soul is on display. So it is with my writing. Every word is a brushstroke, every sentence a piece of a painting written on a blank canvas that when completed is an offering, a piece of my heart laid out for the world to judge. That is a scary proposition let me tell you. It leaves you vulnerable to the tempestuous judgment of others.
I have learned to accept that as I put my work, and thus myself, on display it is open season for criticism. I understand that some of the things I write about are not interesting to all who read it. That is to be expected. I also know that no one is going to agree with my position on every issue. I can live with that. The public, they are a fickle lot. I endeavor not to allow them too much power in my life. What is still difficult for me is apathy from those who claim to love me. It is rejection at its deepest level - right in the pit of my soul. I mourn the fact that some will simply never be able to give me what I need from them. For whatever reason, it is impossible for them. I accept that even as I grieve.
It is when I feel the sting of disinterest from those around me that I look toward scripture to encourage me. I know that my God alone will always be in my corner. He is the one bottomless source of encouragement that I have. It gives me immeasurable comfort to know that he is there. In those quiet hours of the night when I question my very existence he whispers in my ear - I created you and my works are wonderful. How wonderful to know that there was no mistake. He had a clear plan in mind when I he created me. No rejection, no apathy, no detachment felt by any human can touch the promise that God has spoken to me. Unconditional love and acceptance. It is a beautiful thing. How can I live in anything less than success and victory with my creator’s blessing and authority written on my heart? I can't. I owe God too much. And so, I press on.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
How to Win so Your Oponent Feels Like a Winner
I spent the last two school years as the PTA President at my children's elementary school. I am not a natural born leader, I am not a traditionally organized person and I kind of inherited the job in an unexpected way, not because I was just dying to be in charge of the PTA. I quickly learned a lot about human nature and I treasure the invaluable lessons I have learned along the way.
One of the main things we have to do as a PTA President is to make as many people as we possibly can happy. This often means setting aside our own agenda for the greater good of the group. Admittedly that is a tall order. What it basically means is that as President we have tons of responsibility, some influence, but very little power. Someone seeking a power trip will need to keep seeking rather than sign on as President of a PTA - there is no power in it. It is a position of service and altruism.
It is best to remind ourselves often that we do have some influence, but last word decisions will not be made by us. There are administrators and school boards and parents and teachers and all sorts of people in a position to make decisions. It is the PTA President's job to work as closely as possible with these powers than be and help each of them to get as much of what they want as possible to keep them content. There will be times when a loud squeaky wheel will demand that things go according to their own personal plan. If that squeaky wheel is the school board or an administrator (someone with true authority), you will often have to simply accept their edicts and work on making the best of the situation. It does no good to antagonize those people. We will continue to work closely with them and having a pleasant rapport with them is paramount.
I have found that many adults have not grasped the 'life is not always fair' mantra as well as they probably should have and have encountered many a parent who feels that they should have what they want out of the organization. This causes some to develop an adversarial attitude with the people who really hold power in these types of situations. We then make the mistake of feeling that the decisions that are being made are somehow personal to us and become very hard to work with, like a petulant child who has not gotten his way. This is never a good idea. I have found that a little flexibility goes a long way in evening out the playing field and getting more of what we want out of the people who make the ultimate decisions. They come to trust our even-handedness and really want to appease us.
Flexibility and diplomacy. Those are the two most effective tools in the PTA President's toolkit. Preconceived notions and stubborn rigidity need to be checked at the door - they will not gain us anything in the way of achieving our goal of a harmonious unit. If one message is passed along it should be this - It's not about you. There are so many decisions to be made, so many egos to be massaged, so many land mines to maneuver around; our job is to successfully lead the way toward compromise. When all is said and done, we have to remember that the bigger picture is the children we serve. If they are not the beneficiary of our plan, then our plan is a fail no matter how successful it looks on the outside.
I tried to impart during my two year tenure the message that getting what you want is not necessarily a victory if you had to step all over those whom you are ultimately serving in order to win. In some ways I can see that I was successful in my mission; nothing is ever 100% a success, though.
In addition I see that that these lessons should spill over into all parts of our lives and in other relationships as well. Looking at the big picture is always a good strategy, as is remembering who we are trying to benefit. Reminding ourselves periodically - It's not all about me is just a good idea no matter what our endeavor. Getting out of the way and letting things work for the greater good is just a good life lesson, as well as a great way to run a PTA.
One of the main things we have to do as a PTA President is to make as many people as we possibly can happy. This often means setting aside our own agenda for the greater good of the group. Admittedly that is a tall order. What it basically means is that as President we have tons of responsibility, some influence, but very little power. Someone seeking a power trip will need to keep seeking rather than sign on as President of a PTA - there is no power in it. It is a position of service and altruism.
It is best to remind ourselves often that we do have some influence, but last word decisions will not be made by us. There are administrators and school boards and parents and teachers and all sorts of people in a position to make decisions. It is the PTA President's job to work as closely as possible with these powers than be and help each of them to get as much of what they want as possible to keep them content. There will be times when a loud squeaky wheel will demand that things go according to their own personal plan. If that squeaky wheel is the school board or an administrator (someone with true authority), you will often have to simply accept their edicts and work on making the best of the situation. It does no good to antagonize those people. We will continue to work closely with them and having a pleasant rapport with them is paramount.
I have found that many adults have not grasped the 'life is not always fair' mantra as well as they probably should have and have encountered many a parent who feels that they should have what they want out of the organization. This causes some to develop an adversarial attitude with the people who really hold power in these types of situations. We then make the mistake of feeling that the decisions that are being made are somehow personal to us and become very hard to work with, like a petulant child who has not gotten his way. This is never a good idea. I have found that a little flexibility goes a long way in evening out the playing field and getting more of what we want out of the people who make the ultimate decisions. They come to trust our even-handedness and really want to appease us.
Flexibility and diplomacy. Those are the two most effective tools in the PTA President's toolkit. Preconceived notions and stubborn rigidity need to be checked at the door - they will not gain us anything in the way of achieving our goal of a harmonious unit. If one message is passed along it should be this - It's not about you. There are so many decisions to be made, so many egos to be massaged, so many land mines to maneuver around; our job is to successfully lead the way toward compromise. When all is said and done, we have to remember that the bigger picture is the children we serve. If they are not the beneficiary of our plan, then our plan is a fail no matter how successful it looks on the outside.
I tried to impart during my two year tenure the message that getting what you want is not necessarily a victory if you had to step all over those whom you are ultimately serving in order to win. In some ways I can see that I was successful in my mission; nothing is ever 100% a success, though.
In addition I see that that these lessons should spill over into all parts of our lives and in other relationships as well. Looking at the big picture is always a good strategy, as is remembering who we are trying to benefit. Reminding ourselves periodically - It's not all about me is just a good idea no matter what our endeavor. Getting out of the way and letting things work for the greater good is just a good life lesson, as well as a great way to run a PTA.
Monday, July 27, 2009
I Don't Want to Drink Algae
Every year in mid-July our local tap water starts to taste like muddy lake water due to an over abundance of algae called algal bloom in the lake that our water comes from. It is not harmful for us to consume because the water is treated before we consume it. It is not treated before the plant and animal life living in the lake are exposed to it, however.
A lot of people do not realize that this algal bloom when they are overfed. By overfed, I mean from unnecessary chemicals that people use in their own homes. Bleach, phosphates and other household cleaners are chief among the culprits because the algae feed off of them. Phosphates, used as a water softening agent, have been phased out of laundry detergents for this reason, but it has not been enough to stop the problem. There are still phosphates in dishwasher detergents and many fertilizers.
Most don't think of the impact that regular household bleach and other anti-bacterial agents in soaps and household cleaners have on our waterways. Look at it this way: The way that average Americans use antibacterial products is like pouring massive doses penicillin into our water every day. Just as overuse of penicillin will cause the body to develop a yeast (fungal) infection, so will the overuse of antibacterial products cause a development of too much algae (fungus) in the water. This is not conducive to healthy plant and animal life in the lake any more than it is conducive to healthy flora in our bodies whenever we take too many antibiotics. It really is that simple.
We all need to be aware that what we do inside our homes and on our lawns has an impact beyond simply having a cleaning home and greener grass. I have replaced all of my commercial products with environmentally friendly ones, but every July it is driven home to me the importance of getting the word out to others when I smell that earthy smell in my tap water. I volunteer for my city's environmental task force. We go to schools and other groups and educate them on the dangers of this phenomenon. I hope that we are positively influencing people but then every summer I get a whiff of the tap water and I am disappointed that the problem hasn't gone away.
Of course it is not just household use of these products that is causing algal bloom, but also industrial use. The problem seems overwhelming to me when I think of how widespread the predicament is. That is when I realize I can only do what I can. I can't stop the whole phenomenon myself, but I can do my best to use non-harmful products myself and caution others to do the same. I have been very pleased with my choices. My family is also benefiting because they are no longer exposed to harmful chemicals inside our home and we are having an effect on the world beyond our front door. This is important to me and, I hope it will become important to everyone else as well. Together a huge difference can be made.
A lot of people do not realize that this algal bloom when they are overfed. By overfed, I mean from unnecessary chemicals that people use in their own homes. Bleach, phosphates and other household cleaners are chief among the culprits because the algae feed off of them. Phosphates, used as a water softening agent, have been phased out of laundry detergents for this reason, but it has not been enough to stop the problem. There are still phosphates in dishwasher detergents and many fertilizers.
Most don't think of the impact that regular household bleach and other anti-bacterial agents in soaps and household cleaners have on our waterways. Look at it this way: The way that average Americans use antibacterial products is like pouring massive doses penicillin into our water every day. Just as overuse of penicillin will cause the body to develop a yeast (fungal) infection, so will the overuse of antibacterial products cause a development of too much algae (fungus) in the water. This is not conducive to healthy plant and animal life in the lake any more than it is conducive to healthy flora in our bodies whenever we take too many antibiotics. It really is that simple.
We all need to be aware that what we do inside our homes and on our lawns has an impact beyond simply having a cleaning home and greener grass. I have replaced all of my commercial products with environmentally friendly ones, but every July it is driven home to me the importance of getting the word out to others when I smell that earthy smell in my tap water. I volunteer for my city's environmental task force. We go to schools and other groups and educate them on the dangers of this phenomenon. I hope that we are positively influencing people but then every summer I get a whiff of the tap water and I am disappointed that the problem hasn't gone away.
Of course it is not just household use of these products that is causing algal bloom, but also industrial use. The problem seems overwhelming to me when I think of how widespread the predicament is. That is when I realize I can only do what I can. I can't stop the whole phenomenon myself, but I can do my best to use non-harmful products myself and caution others to do the same. I have been very pleased with my choices. My family is also benefiting because they are no longer exposed to harmful chemicals inside our home and we are having an effect on the world beyond our front door. This is important to me and, I hope it will become important to everyone else as well. Together a huge difference can be made.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tooth Pain Is the Worst
I had to have a tooth pulled yesterday. This particular tooth has been a problem for about 10 years. I first broke a filling out of it when I was pregnant with my last child. I didn't want to get it fixed while I was pregnant because I wasn't sure about the epinephrine in the Novocaine shots they give you to numb you up. I didn't want anything to mess with my blood pressure and perhaps harm the baby. It wasn't hurting, so I left it alone for the time being. When it did start hurting a while later, I went to the dentist and had the filling replaced.
It was a big filling, but it lasted a few years and then it started to hurt again. At that time I got a root canal and a crown put on the tooth. About a year ago I noticed that the tooth felt as if it were loose. It wasn't loose though and didn't hurt at all, so I ignored it. About 6 months ago I began to get some swelling along the gum line that would come and go, like I had injured it with a sharp piece of food or something. Again, I ignored it, because the tooth itself did not hurt.
Then, about a month ago it began to hurt when I bit down on something hard. The pain was not that bad, so I put off going to the dentist out of laziness. I thought it was getting better and I was lulled into a false sense of complacency.
A week and a half ago, I woke up and realized that I could not put off going to the dentist another minute. The gum around the tooth was severely swollen and it felt like it was going to explode. The pressure was so intense that I felt like I was trapped in it. The only way that I can describe it, is that it was similar to claustrophobia, in that I felt like the pressure was closing in on me and that I couldn't escape it. The dentist took some x-rays, gave me some pain killers and antibiotics then sent me to a specialist to re-check the root canal.
At the specialist's office, it was discovered that the tooth was broken at the root level, under the crown it was fractured and abscesses and would need to be removed. At that point I was relieved. I was ready to pull the tooth out myself with a pair of pliers. The next day, I went to the regular dentist to have the tooth pulled. It felt so good to get that tooth and all its poison out of my body.
I was reading Psalm 38 today as a part of a 150 day challenge I am doing. The pain that David describes in this passage is the way I felt about that tooth. I don't think that my bad tooth was a sign from God of my sin, or a judgment being rendered to me, but I can see where it would feel like that at times. Especially back in David's day when there was very little medical care, and the way the body reacts to germs was not as well known as it is today. I can also see it as a wake-up call of sorts.
In reading about the type of abscess that I had on-line, I was stunned to know that in years past, people died from this sort of infection. Where mine was situated was on the top, so the infection often (and still can) go into the brain and kills the patient. I also have a added risk of a tooth born infection becoming a blood-born infection that could travel to my hip replacements. I knew all of this in the back of my mind, but I still put off going to the dentist. Why?
I am not afraid of the dentist. I don't enjoy it, but I don't fear it either. I think the reason that I didn't go was simply because I didn't think anything that bad was going to happen to me. That is pretty foolhardy, since the chances of having a disease that requires one to have both hips replaced by age 44 is pretty far-fetched too, but it happened to me. It was really just stupid for me to wait to go to the dentist.
I did read that some people do put off going to the dentist when they have this sort of infection because, since the abscess is draining, the pain is not that bad. It is only when it gets to a more advanced stage and the pressure/pain becomes markedly worse, that people seek dental help. This is what happened in my case. Still no excuse, but a reason nonetheless.
So, please, do not put off going to the dentist. Moms would not hesitate to take their child to the dentist if they had this kind of problem, you should make sure that your own dental health is in good order. It could be a matter of life or death.
It was a big filling, but it lasted a few years and then it started to hurt again. At that time I got a root canal and a crown put on the tooth. About a year ago I noticed that the tooth felt as if it were loose. It wasn't loose though and didn't hurt at all, so I ignored it. About 6 months ago I began to get some swelling along the gum line that would come and go, like I had injured it with a sharp piece of food or something. Again, I ignored it, because the tooth itself did not hurt.
Then, about a month ago it began to hurt when I bit down on something hard. The pain was not that bad, so I put off going to the dentist out of laziness. I thought it was getting better and I was lulled into a false sense of complacency.
A week and a half ago, I woke up and realized that I could not put off going to the dentist another minute. The gum around the tooth was severely swollen and it felt like it was going to explode. The pressure was so intense that I felt like I was trapped in it. The only way that I can describe it, is that it was similar to claustrophobia, in that I felt like the pressure was closing in on me and that I couldn't escape it. The dentist took some x-rays, gave me some pain killers and antibiotics then sent me to a specialist to re-check the root canal.
At the specialist's office, it was discovered that the tooth was broken at the root level, under the crown it was fractured and abscesses and would need to be removed. At that point I was relieved. I was ready to pull the tooth out myself with a pair of pliers. The next day, I went to the regular dentist to have the tooth pulled. It felt so good to get that tooth and all its poison out of my body.
I was reading Psalm 38 today as a part of a 150 day challenge I am doing. The pain that David describes in this passage is the way I felt about that tooth. I don't think that my bad tooth was a sign from God of my sin, or a judgment being rendered to me, but I can see where it would feel like that at times. Especially back in David's day when there was very little medical care, and the way the body reacts to germs was not as well known as it is today. I can also see it as a wake-up call of sorts.
In reading about the type of abscess that I had on-line, I was stunned to know that in years past, people died from this sort of infection. Where mine was situated was on the top, so the infection often (and still can) go into the brain and kills the patient. I also have a added risk of a tooth born infection becoming a blood-born infection that could travel to my hip replacements. I knew all of this in the back of my mind, but I still put off going to the dentist. Why?
I am not afraid of the dentist. I don't enjoy it, but I don't fear it either. I think the reason that I didn't go was simply because I didn't think anything that bad was going to happen to me. That is pretty foolhardy, since the chances of having a disease that requires one to have both hips replaced by age 44 is pretty far-fetched too, but it happened to me. It was really just stupid for me to wait to go to the dentist.
I did read that some people do put off going to the dentist when they have this sort of infection because, since the abscess is draining, the pain is not that bad. It is only when it gets to a more advanced stage and the pressure/pain becomes markedly worse, that people seek dental help. This is what happened in my case. Still no excuse, but a reason nonetheless.
So, please, do not put off going to the dentist. Moms would not hesitate to take their child to the dentist if they had this kind of problem, you should make sure that your own dental health is in good order. It could be a matter of life or death.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
4th of July Celebration
He went to my folks house to celebrate. My kids had a lot of fun blowing up things, luckily only inanimate objects and not living things. Here are a couple of picute from the evening.
Beautiful Fireworks
Pytotechnics
Playing Football
Beautiful Fireworks
Pytotechnics
Playing Football
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