Monday, January 19, 2009

The Life of a Stay at Home Mom

I love being a stay at home mom. It was a dream of mine from the time I was a little girl to be a mommy and to stay at home and nurture my little ones. I have been blessed with four of the greatest kids God ever thought about creating and have thoroughly enjoyed being home with them for the past 14 years. There are days when they drive me to distraction, but that is not what this post is about.

This post is about one of the things that I really don't like very much about my 'job'; the fact that I don't get paid for it. It is not so much that I think I deserve payment for the things that I do; it is that I don't feel like I have a leg to stand on when it comes to money matters. After all, I don't contribute monetarily, so why should I have anything to say about how the money is spent, right?

I am not a spend thrift. As a matter of fact, I am quite a frugal person. I don't have designer clothes, jewelry, take fancy vacations or anything like that. I cut my own hair, as well as my boys' hair, for crying out loud! I make my own laundry detergent and household cleaners; even my toothpaste is homemade. I don't go to lunch and movies with friends like some of my stay at home mom friends do. I really spend no extra money besides a few books a year and some craft supplies now and then. So, I find it hard to take when I am told to 'cut back' or I am questioned constantly about my purchases. Trust me, if we don't need it, I don't buy it.

I feel quite impotent in this regard because I have not brought home a pay check in 14 years, nor do I want to. I feel it is so important to be home with my kids now that they are in late elementary and middle school. They need supervision like never before. I still feel I am an equal partner with my husband in the life of the family, though, even though I don't make any money. If I were out of control, I would see a need for someone to reign me in, but as it is, I just feel like I am not trusted or valued.

I think I have done a really good job all these years making things work and not overspending, but apparently it is not working well enough.