Thursday, March 26, 2009

What's Next

It's almost 1:30. I will have to start picking up kids in about an hour. There are so many things I could be doing. So many things I should be doing, but I find myself sitting here contemplating what to do next. I don't mean what I should be doing right at this moment, Lord knows there is no shortage of things to be dusted, vacuumed, scrubbed or hosed down. I am talking about in my life in general, in the big picture. Where do I go from here and how do I get there?

I love to volunteer. It makes my heart happy to be helpful to other people. Since my kids started school 9+ years ago, I have pretty much devoted all of my 'free' time to volunteering. I enjoy all of it, but here is one thing I have learned. If I say yes to something without praying about it first or if I ignore the doubtful feelings I get about something after I have prayed about it, then God will not bless my efforts. I will find myself stressed and resentful of the duties that should be filling me with joy. That is kind of where I am at right now. I took on something that I wasn't being called to do and now I am feeling the sting of disappointment as I look over the last year and a half and examine my failure. Sure, it could have been worse, but oh, how it could have been better if I had allowed God to guide me. This is why I am carefully contemplating my next move.

I have a few ideas bouncing around my head. There are a multitude of things I want to do with the blocks of time, not to mention the area of my brain, that will be freed up when my current commitments are finished. I want to make sure I get it right this time though.

It would be so much easier if there were just a magic formula that would tell me beforehand whether a decision were right or not. I would not have to go back and forth in my mind. Unfortunately that is not how God works. He doesn't give those clear signs like he did in the Old Testament. Somehow I don't think he is going to speak to me through a burning bush as he did to Moses. Then again, Moses didn't always get the message and obey, so I don't know that clear signs from God are a recipe for human success.

I will do my best to be discerning and listen carefully so that my efforts will be blessed whatever it is that I choose to do next.

Ephesians 5:15-17 (New International Version)

15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

James 1:5 (New International Version)

5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.