Friday, March 13, 2015

Mama Said There'd be Days Like this

Turns out Mama was right - there'll be days like this.  And they ain't fun.

I had a bad day yesterday.  A combination of unresolved health problems, my (warning: digression -very much needed [no matter what the New York Times has to say about over-medication of women for "normal" emotions, there are those of us who cannot live a quality life without them] psych medications) not being quite as effective as they could be, due to the aforementioned health issues - long story! coupled with a [figurative] gut punch from one of my teenagers left me bereft.

It left me bereft, crying, balled up in a fetal position wondering what in the WORLD I was going to do to turn things around.  It seemed pretty hopeless after hours of self-recrimination and hopelessness.

While talking to a trusted friend who told it was going to be okay, she told me that no matter how off the rails it seemed now, that I was doing a good job, and that I was tired, and in need of someone to take care of me for a minute, this (older than me!) chorus to this song popped into my head - Mama said there'd be days like this, Mama said.

Those words brought to me not only a sense of the impermanence of the situation, but also opened up a new dialogue in my head about my own teen and young adult years and the heartache I must have caused my own mother.  I didn't mean to.  I was only trying to find my own way in life - to make my own decisions, but certainly I gut-punched her on more than one occasion.

And guess what?  She's still standing!  She stayed steadfast in her love for me, and no doubt prayed a thousand prayers and shed as many tears for me, though I didn't deserve it, she did it anyway, knowing that there would be days like this and then, at some point there would be days like that.

I am quite content not knowing how long this day will last, as I look forward to days like that.  Days like that being days of victory because I spent some time in the days that weren't as victorious and learned [whatever] I was supposed to, and came out better for the experience.

Lamentations 3:21-23New Living Translation (NLT)
Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.